One Touch Page 17

  "Really?” asked Liz. “Have you had a good look in the mirror lately, Cass? You've lost a stack of weight, you have dark circles under your eyes ... and no, the makeup didn't work ... and you've lost your zing. You're ... flat. I've never seen you like this in all the years I've known you. And Jake..."

  Cass couldn't help herself. She had to know. “What's wrong with Jake?” She couldn't understand why Jake would be upset. Actually, no, that wasn't true. She'd had plenty of time to reflect on that night and she realised now just how hurt he must have been feeling to say the things he'd said. But that didn't help. Some words you just couldn't take back. And the fact that he hadn't even allowed her to defend herself...

  "He looks as bad as you. Not sleeping. Losing weight. Stays locked up in his house whenever he isn't working. Won't even go out with Rob and Tom for a beer, for God's sake. So, you tell me, Cass. What's wrong with Jake? Because I know it involves the two of you. And I'm not leaving until I find out. I refuse to sit by and watch the two people I love the most destroy themselves this way."

  Her heartfelt plea wasn't lost on Cass. She could see how worried Lizzy was, but she didn't want to say something bad about her brother. “We had a fight, Liz. That's all. There was a misunderstanding. End of story."

  "No way, Cass. This was way more than a misunderstanding. I didn't come down in the last shower, you know.” Suddenly something occurred to her. “This isn't about Chloe, is it? Did you tell him..."

  The pain of his words came back to her and she sighed. “No, I didn't tell him. I never had the chance."

  "But you were going to."

  "Yes, I had every intention of doing so. I was just waiting until the right time.” She laughed nervously. “As if there's ever a right time for that sort of announcement."

  "So then, what happened?"

  Cass dropped her head into her hands, lifting it to tug nervously on her ponytail, and sighed. “Somebody must have told him there was something going on between me and Richard..."

  "Richard who? Who the hell is Richard?"

  "Richard Carmichael. One of Jake's carpenters."

  "That Richard. But that's ridiculous. You two were just friends."

  'Yes, I know. But Jake was fed information by someone ... and I have no idea who ... that there was something going on between us. Unfortunately, he came round one day and caught Richard coming out of my shower ... It was completely innocent, Liz. Richard had a date straight after work and he had already arranged it with me that he could wash up and change here. Of course, Jake arrived when he was coming out of my bedroom and put two and two together and came up with the wrong answer.” She could remember the shocking scene that followed with perfect clarity, like a movie running through her head.

  "But surely Richard..."

  "Oh, don't worry. Richard tried to tell Jake, but Jake wouldn't listen. He ... err ... he fired Richard on the spot."

  "No!"

  "He was so angry, Liz. I've never seen Jake like that."

  "I know. He doesn't get angry very often, but he when he does, that damn Irish temper of his ... Makes up for him being so laid back the rest of the time, I guess. So, what happened then?"

  "We had a fight and he left."

  "And that's it?"

  Cass stood abruptly, walking over to the sliding doors onto the brand-new deck, the rest of the fight coming back to her in a rush. She bit her lip and hugged her arms tightly around herself, trying to stave off the inevitable tears that came whenever she let herself remember. “Yep, that's it."

  "No. Something's missing. I'm sure of it. What else did he say, Cass? Tell me."

  "No, Liz."

  "Why not? Because he's my brother?"

  "That ... and other things."

  "Look, I know he's no saint, but he wouldn't have deliberately hurt you, Cass. Whatever it was, it's fixable. I know it."

  "Leave it, Liz."

  "No. Don't blow me off. Whatever happened between the two of you, maybe all it needs if for one of you to make the first move. Maybe he just got his wires crossed."

  Cass turned to her, her eyes blazing. “Wires crossed? Oh, please! He got more than his fucking wires crossed!” Anger started to bubble up in Cass, an emotion that had been absent the last few weeks, pushed out by the hurt and the pain.

  "And what the hell does that mean exactly?"

  Liz was angry now, too. Well, fine. Cass had just about had a gutful of the whole mess. Knowing that she shouldn't, she started down the path that would likely be the end of her friendship with her friend, but was unable to halt the bursting of the floodgates.

  "Your dear misguided brother told me, and I quote, ‘that if I had been a little more selective in the guys I chose to fuck, then perhaps I wouldn't be a single mum, and Chloe would have a father.’ Happy, now?"

  Liz stopped as if hit, her eyes wide.

  "Oh my God!” She plopped down on the seat.

  "Now, can we please just drop it!” In frustration, Cass spat the words.

  "But you haven't ... Jake is the only..."

  "Yes, yes, yes. I know that, and you know that. Jake, unfortunately, doesn't. And considering that he never gave me a chance to defend myself, he isn't ever likely to, either. And right now I don't give a shit if he's hurting. He can go to hell for all I care."

  Cass paced, unable to sit still. Her nerves were jumping as the flood of adrenaline surged through her bloodstream. She glanced at Lizzy and immediately realised what she'd done. Her friend looked like she'd been run over by a truck.

  Seeing the devastated look on Lizzy's face, the tears started to fall, her anger purged and remorse taking its place. “Oh, God. I'm sorry, Liz. I never had any intention of telling you."

  Flicking her head up to look at Cass, Lizzy seemed to snap out of her shock. Her eyes were glassy and she was shaking her head. “No, no, don't be sorry, Cass. It's not your fault. None of this has been your fault. Don't ... don't you dare feel sorry for telling me. It's just ... Oh, shit. I always thought my brother was a horse's ass, but this just proves it. How on earth could he think ... And to say...” Her face lost its shocked look and softened. “Oh, sweetie,” she wrapped her arms around Cass in a firm hug, “I ... Sorry just doesn't cut it, I know, but I am. Is there anything I can do? God, what a dumb question."

  "Liz?” Feeling like she'd had the stuffing knocked out of her, Cass couldn't hide the edge of fatigue creeping into her voice.

  "Yeah?"

  "Can we drop it now? To be perfectly honest, I'd rather not think about it anymore.” Ever.

  "Sure. Let's talk about something else..."

  * * * *

  Lizzy tried to change the subject. An artificial cheeriness settled in her voice. It was obvious though, that she was rocked.

  For a little while they discussed Rob and Lizzy's plans to buy a new house, a bigger one. As it turned out, Rob was anxious to start a family. He and Lizzy were more than ready for the next phase of their lives, and Lizzy had been in her job long enough that she could take the twelve months maternity leave they offered.

  Cass couldn't help thinking how very different her entrée into parenthood had been. Maternity leave was a luxury she had never had, but she'd made it through. And in spite of Jake's hurtful aspersions, she was proud of herself. She had made a good life for herself and Chloe, and she hadn't needed a man by her side to do it.

  That was right! She'd come this far on her own. Raised a child; made a career. She should be proud of herself. And she was. It hadn't been an easy road, but she'd done it, and by God, she'd done it well.

  That thought alone made her realise that she was going to be okay. She had taken whatever kicks life had dealt her, and she was still standing. And she'd get through this one, too. Fresh resolve flooded through her, pushing out the lassitude of the past weeks so that she could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  After Lizzy left, she grabbed her purse, locked up the house, and jumped in her car. It was time she got over Jake Reilly—he wasn't
coming back and so what? She hadn't needed him the last five years and she could do without him for the next fifty, too. To start, she would go shopping, pamper herself, maybe a facial and a full body massage. After that, she might buy herself a new wardrobe. It had been ages since she'd spent any money on herself. She worked hard, and she damned well deserved it.

  She realised, though, it was just a front. No amount of pampering was going to fix the hurt in her heart. If only she'd told Jake sooner ... But then, would it really have made any difference?

  No, it wouldn't. Well, stuff Jake. He could go to hell.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Feet propped up on the railing, Jake leaned back in the chair on his deck. With a final swig, he drained the glass in his hand, feeling the burn in his chest as it tracked down his throat.

  He put the glass aside and snorted with disgust. The booze certainly hadn't helped any. Not even a gallon of Scotch would be enough to get the image of Cassie out of his head.

  Jake was in hell. He'd never known pain like this. Gut wrenching, completely debilitating. The kind of pain that ate into him a little more each day and he had no idea what to do about it. His life was a big gaping void without Cassie and Chloe in it, and God, he missed them so much. His eyes watered. He wasn't one for crying, but damn, he was close.

  It was a toss-up between the days and nights as to which were longer. The days stretched out, filled with memories of the three of them together ... the bond he'd felt with his little sugar from the moment she threw her arms around his neck that first day ... running along the beach chasing the seagulls, Chloe in the middle of them, swinging on their hands and squealing with delight as the birds took flight. And the nights ... God, how he hated the nights! Tossing and turning through the darkest hours, plagued by reminiscences of Cassie's warmth snuggling up against him in her sleep, the gentle loving when they woke together before dawn, before Chloe came bounding in ... How many nights had he lain awake with her in his arms, gently stroking the loose strands of hair off her face, fighting the need to crush her to him, loving her so much ... wanting the night to never end...

  Jesus! Would this never end?

  For a while there, it had seemed like all the things he had dreamed of, all he wanted in his life was actually going to happen. A woman he loved so much he needed her like he needed air to breathe, the promise of more kids, because he'd pretty much already adopted Chloe in his head and his heart anyway ... His head slumped a little further on his chest as the pain ripped through him again. Dammit all to hell!

  The brief flare of anger faded quickly. It never lasted long enough. Anger would be preferable to this ... this gutted, empty feeling that lay like a hole in his chest. His feet slapped to the wooden decking. Standing, he stretched the kinks out of his body and padded through to the shower. Maybe if he looked and felt half human, things would start to look up. Seriously, he doubted that they could possibly get any worse.

  * * * *

  Lizzy pulled the car to a stop in Jake's driveway. His SUV was in the garage, so he was home ... right where she wanted him.

  She hadn't let Cass see, but she was furious. It wasn't lost on her that Cass had not wanted to tell her what had happened, and Cass wouldn't have either, if she hadn't pushed so hard. Now, she just wanted to kill someone. And her dear brother was the most suitable applicant she could think of for her first and probably only murder.

  And it would be quick, too. Not painless, though. She intended to let her brother have it with both barrels, the stupid, dumb jerk.

  It was true, she'd promised Cass once that she wouldn't tell Jake he was Chloe's dad, but this was different. Things had been let go too far. Cass would kill her, for sure. But if she left it up to those two, it would never be resolved. And she wasn't doing it for them, anyway. They were both too stubborn to see a way around the mess they had let sit and stagnate like a festering wound.

  No, she was doing this for Chloe, her sweet little niece. It was probably the first time she had publicly put on her “auntie” hat, and she was going to make sure it wouldn't be the last.

  Besides, she knew something that neither of the two of them knew. They were both crazy, madly in love with each other ... cripes! It was as clear as the nose on their faces. They were just too blind and too damned stupid to see it.

  With a snort, she deliberately ignored the ridiculous door chime with its happy chime and pounded on the door. That was much more in line with the way she was feeling. Angry as all get out. Murderous. Oh, yeah. She was going to tear her big brother a new one, all right!

  She almost faltered when Jake opened the door and she took in the bleary, bloodshot eyes and the lines of tiredness on his face that not even the shower he'd obviously just stepped out of could erase. There was something disturbingly familiar about that, considering where she had just come from.

  "Hi, Jake.” She barged past him and walking into the house. “You're a sight for sore eyes."

  "What's up, Lizzy? I'm not really in the mood for visitors."

  "Yes, I can see that. You look like you haven't shaved in a week...” she paused while she looked around her, “...and this place is a mess."

  "Nice of you to notice,” he said dryly. “Is that it? Because if you don't have anything better to say, you can leave now. I'm busy."

  "Busy, huh?” She looked at him closely. The happy, always teasing brother she knew was gone. In his place was this pained, bitter shell. Well, good. If it was the last thing she did, she was going to break that damned shell if she had to blast it to smithereens and him with it. Fighting with him wouldn't achieve it, though. Calm words would be much more effective. “Busy sulking, or have we moved onto wallowing?"

  "What the hell are you talking about?"

  She stood up from the couch. This had to be done standing up. “I just came from Cass's place.” A small glimmer of satisfaction surged through her as she noticed the flicker of interest in his eyes before he quickly doused it.

  "So?"

  "You're two of a kind. She looks as bad as you do."

  "What do you mean?” He was looking at her intently.

  "Oh, let's see. Lost weight, not sleeping, looks like hell ... Sound familiar?"

  "Your point being?"

  "My point being,” she started, fighting the urge to smack him upside the head, “is that you are a bloody idiot and you don't deserve someone as wonderful as Cass."

  A haze of hurt immediately masked by anger filled his eyes. “You've no idea what you're talking about, Sis. Just leave it alone."

  Oh, yeah, she knew that gruff tone. Her brother was getting pissed. Good. She wasn't nearly done with him yet.

  "There are a few things..."

  "Stop, Liz!” He cut off her words with a slash of his hand. “What happened between Cass and me is our business. I don't need my baby sister sticking her two cents worth in..."

  "Well, tough, big brother, because you have made the biggest mistake of your bloody life, and it looks like it's up to me to set you straight.” So much for starting out calmly.

  "You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know the whole situation. And it's none of your bloody business, anyway."

  "No, you're the one who doesn't know the whole situation, Jake. And that's the whole problem. You just went in there with that bloody Irish temper blazing, shooting your damned mouth off and you didn't even give Cass a chance to explain."

  "What was there to explain? I know what I saw. And I wasn't the only one who knew what was going on..."

  "Oh, really? Well, hold tight, fool, because I'm going to tell you the whole story ... the one you never let Cass tell you, and then we'll see who is the biggest idiot of the century. About Richard...” She looked at the thunderous scowl on his face.

  "I don't want to hear about fucking Richard!"

  She flinched at the vehemence in his words. “Fine.” No problem. They could get that point later. Once she had his full attention and had knocked some of that damned attitude out of him.
And she knew just the way. She decided to come straight to the point. The main point. It was guaranteed to shut him up and knock that self-righteous stuffing out of him...

  "Okay. No Richard. Later. How about ... Chloe."

  One word was all it took. Pulled him up quicker than a lightning bolt. Surprisingly, pain filled his eyes. So, it was like that. Good.

  "You've been wondering ever since you met her, who her father is."

  "And I suppose you know? Well then, why the fuck didn't you ever tell me?"

  "Simple: a: it wasn't my place to, and b: I shouldn't have had to, you stupid jerk. If you knew Cass half as well as you think you do, you wouldn't even have to ask, and c: it was as plain on the nose on your bloody face."

  "What do you mean?"

  She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Why don't you go take a good hard look in the mirror, an honest look, and tell me what you see..."

  Damn! She hadn't wanted to let it out like that, but she was so riled.

  He just stood there, not moving. Something must have been going on in his head because he turned to her, looking at her strangely. On the sideboard, she noticed the photo she had taken of the three of them at the barbeque weeks ago.

  "Look!” She picked up the photo and thrust it into his hand. “Tell me what you see."

  He held the photo firmly, but his eyes skipped over it like a caress, belying the tautness of his reply. “It's Cassie and me with Chloe. Your point?"

  Her voice softened. “Look closer, Jake. Look at Chloe ... Look at ... you."

  His eyes quickly swung to the photo he clenched in his hand. For long moments, he just looked. She opened her mouth to say something and shut it when she noticed his eyes watering.

  He shut his eyes, and his head dropped, his jaw a grim line. Then his head starting shaking from side to side, his lips pressed closely together. He took a deep, shuddering breath as if the air had gone out of his lungs. When he finally spoke, his voice was a croak.

  "Are you...” The words got stuck, so he swallowed and tried again. “Are you telling me...” He looked at her, his eyes pleading, unable to speak the words.